Leaving lunchbox notes for the children in their lunch is a fun and sweet idea, but when you have multiple young children, it’s really hard to follow through. I used to feel like a bad mother when my oldest came home mentioning the lunchbox notes her friends got from their parents.
Mother guilt is so real, guys, but to my husband’s beliefs, I try too hard and am spoiling the children — he will never get it!
To put less pressure on myself, I learned to leave a note only when I had extra minutes to make one, definitely not every day, so the kids wouldn’t expect it. “I was able to make peace with myself and figure this all out. So smart!” I thought to myself.
Then I had a hard time connecting with my middle child – our personalities clashed, and I found it very difficult to deal with him. A little reminder, my middle child was only six years old. It sounded terrible that I could barely handle my six-year-old, but his “immaturity and ignorance” made me burst into tears sometimes. The mother guilt ate me alive when I wasn’t with him, but my goodness, I couldn’t help myself when I was with him!
That being said, I found leaving him small notes in his lunch helped us connect a bit better. He was happy to see the lunchbox notes, and often, the notes served as launch pads for our conversations about his day.
The daily lunchbox note planning – Can you afford the time and effort?
Leaving lunchbox notes for my middle child meant the other two got notes too; they wouldn’t settle with the “unfairness” if their siblings got something and they didn’t.
I’ve tried many, and I find that sticky notes work best for us. They are affordable and easy to use, and children can save them by re-sticking the notes elsewhere.
Lunchbox Notes for the three-year-old
This one was probably the easiest to please. Animal drawings were the biggest hit, and he was happy every time he got one. I wasn’t even good at drawing, but I used simple, step-by-step drawings from the internet, and it worked really well. Or maybe he was just not old enough to judge my drawings, yet. 🙂
He started saving his lunchbox notes in a notebook, and guess what, his older siblings copied his idea. It always made my day to see the children treasure the notes I made for them.
Lunchbox Notes for the six-year-old
I put a lot more intention into writing lunchbox notes for him. I wrote him simple, inspirational messages, and sometimes included a small drawing of things he liked, such as snakes and turtles. Or, when we had a hard time connecting, I got a chance to find a better way to communicate through the notes. Or the best were love notes – I just simply told him how much he was loved. He was a very sweet child with big emotions, so he needed to hear he was loved often.
In my calm moments, writing notes to him, I realized it had helped as a reminder for myself to slow down and enjoy the moments, just as I sometimes reminded him in the notes.
Lunchbox Notes for the nine-year-old
I usually wrote more complicated messages for her. She sometimes demanded drawings because her siblings got drawings in their lunchbox notes (see, it wasn’t fair!). It makes me think, maybe my drawings aren’t that bad after all. Ha, just kidding! I know I’m no artist.
How did I end up doing regular lunchbox notes?
The idea started when I was at a part-time job. When I was on my breaks (yes, I got paid for my breaks too, unlike when I was at home, where I barely got to take a break in peace and did not get paid either. Oops, I digressed), I started writing notes to my children for the week. I felt productive and accomplished!
It made me realize that when I was at home, I was constantly on the move and could barely find a minute to focus on anything other than household chores or the perpetual planning, such as playdates, doctor appointments, and meal plans.
With the ability to manage time for writing notes AND the need to connect with my middle child better, I decided to give the regular lunchbox notes a try.
If you have any tricks up your sleeve (for managing writing time and message ideas), please share them with me.
It shouldn’t be a chore!
After a few months of leaving notes in their lunchboxes every school day, I no longer needed to use the notes as a launchpad to get through to my middle child anymore (thank you, notes!). Slowly, leaving lunchbox notes began to feel like a chore. I no longer felt the same excitement, and the children weren’t as excited as they had been.
So, I decided to put a pause on the tradition.
I asked the children to organize their notes so that we could discuss the messages they had received. They actually loved going through all of their notes. Win – Win!
Being organized isn’t our family’s forte, so I bet it’s going to be a while before we restart the lunchbox note tradition again.
And I enjoy the break!
In the end, notes or no notes, daily or occasionally, don’t be harsh on yourself. I left notes in my children’s lunchboxes because our family, or I, desperately needed it, and it didn’t make me a better parent than you. And if you decide to do it, have fun!
A little reminder: leaving lunchbox notes doesn’t guarantee kids will eat their lunch. Not eating lunch at school is a constant battle with two out of three of my children, and I’m fighting hard for it.