While writing this story, I dreamed of having a life like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, where I could enjoy motherhood while writing about it. The difference is, she is a writer, and I am not. She is a fictional character, and I am living in my reality. But hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a fantasy. 😀
Writing about my frustrations and challenges in this journey helps lower my anxiety and bring new perspectives, so after quitting my part-time job, I decided to put some effort into writing. I scheduled two days a week for writing while my children were at school. What a realistic plan, I thought to myself. It meant no children-related activities, no house chores, no doctor appointments, no socialization, and no early pick-up, even if someone begs me to (I sometimes let the children skip their aftercare if they don’t want to go).
That is how determined I was.
Well, who am I kidding! It has been over two months since I left my job, and today is the first day that I was able to send ALL three of my children to school full-time — fingers crossed for no phone call from any schools. I finally have a chance to work on my writing, as planned. Woot!
To celebrate this, a story about how crazy life has been over the past two months seems most appropriate.
Everything seemed to go wrong
As a primary caretaker for my children, and not having any extra help from extended families, it has come to my realization that it’s challenging to follow through with my writing schedule, which I thought I was smart for setting a low bar for myself – only two days a week, it should be manageable.
What could go wrong?
Case #1
The day after my last day at work, one of my children fractured his skull. It was stressful and terrifying! Many tears had been shed, but luckily, he cracked the “lucky” spot, which is healing nicely on its own so far. I thanked our lucky star for this! I watched this kid like a hawk the following week, looking for more severe symptoms and making sure he would not further injure his fracture.
He had to avoid play structures and rough play for four to six weeks. Boy! If you have a high-energy child like mine, avoiding rough play can be a challenging task.
His school was very accommodating and agreed to keep a close eye on him when he went out to the school yard to play, so he was able to return to school a week after the incident. However, he only attended half days during this healing time to minimize outdoor play at school. Although there are still follow-up doctor appointments to attend, I’m happy to report that he is healing well.
This kid needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap to prevent injuries! Just kidding! But that was how scared I was.
Seriously, wasn’t I supposed to be the one who jumped off the cliff out of joy, after quitting my job? Not him!
Case #2
The next child went down with a cold two weeks after her sibling’s incident. She has been the one with the strongest immune system among the three of them so far, so when she was sick and in bed for a whole week for the first time, I got very anxious. She has always been so healthy, remember — something has to be really wrong – dark thoughts sneaked into me often.
My healthiest child! Not her, too! – I screamed on the inside.
Thankfully, she recovered by the end of the week, and I could finally breathe!
Looking back, I was obviously overreacting; the stress from the youngest child’s health scare traumatized me, so any health issues shook me to my core.
Case #3
Then spring break came, and having all three children home wasn’t what I needed during this time. Kids will be kids, and just thinking of them bickering non-stop exhausted me. I didn’t have the energy for it. Against my financial reasoning, I decided to send my two oldest kids to camp while keeping the youngest at home from camp, as he was still recovering from his injury.
Another week passed without me following through on my writing plans.
Case #4
The last child went down with a nasty flu, just after spring break. I, selfishly, was so upset for a minute — seriously, why not during the spring break when there was no school! (But I’m sure I would also be upset if he had gotten sick during the spring break because camp money would go to waste — can’t win).
He was as sick as a dog, and the temperature was high for many days. I got freaked out when, at one point, the thermometer’s screen was bright red and read 106.3°F while I was measuring the rest of the family, and everyone else was at a normal temperature. I tried two different thermometers, and they both read similar numbers.
I called the nurse line about the high temperature. When the nurse asked me what his temperature was, I told her: 106. She insisted that his temperature was 100.6. I got so frustrated, thinking — my child is sick, stop wasting time, I’m not stupid. I had to tell her three times that it wasn’t 100.6 but 106 — 106.3°F to be exact. She told us to go to the ER.
Another ER trip in our book.
There are two things that I’ve learnt from the ER doctors. One, thermometers are generally more accurate within a temperature range, and likely that if your temperature reaches over 103°F, the margin of error would increase significantly (which means that it was unlikely that my child was 106°F at the time. His temperature was 102°F when we got to the ER but that was measured after 30 minutes of a dosage of fever reducer). Second, their behaviors are more important than their temperature.
Anyway, he still has a residual cough that might last for weeks, but he is healthy enough to attend school, so he went off to school after over two (long!) weeks.
Where is the time for writing?
I feel fortunate that I was able to afford to be home and take care of my children during this time, over two straight months of sickness, injuries, and holidays. It’s surreal to think that it took only two months for me to get a day off from my main job, as a stay-at-home mom, to be able to do something extra, like my dream writing plan or anything at all.
I’m thinking about all the parents out there who have been juggling work and life while caring for young children. I see you!
How do you manage work-life balance with young children? How do you build your army of support/help to prepare for situations like this so you can keep your job knowing your young children are taken care of?
I celebrate TODAY
I was able to finish this story while the children were at school. It feels good to be able to focus on it, uninterrupted. It feels good to feel like I’ve accomplished something.
I’m heading in the right direction; this is a good start for me to work up my fantasy of being a writer. It is possible – I dream!
I feel good today!