My Kids Have a Difficult Time Eating Lunch at School

If your kids don’t eat lunch at school, you are not alone. In fact, not eating lunch at school is a very common issue. In all fairness, I know school lunchtime should be longer, and many distractions make it hard for kids to focus on eating lunch.

I consider lunch an essential meal for the children, and I’m determined to encourage my kids to make an effort to eat lunch at school. My children bring home lunch to school, and I can see that they sometimes bring an untouched lunch home. And when it happens, I get anxious! I’m worried that without eating lunch, they will snack on unhealthy snacks like Cheetos, chips, and juice at school. I’m worried that they will be hungry and get cranky later. I’m concerned that they will develop unhealthy eating habits.

Should I just let them have school lunches and pretend not to know about their lunch intake? Ignorance is bliss!

I’m not ready to give up, yet. I still have to pack lunch for my youngest for pre-school, so I might as well make an effort for the older kids. I’m trying hard to hold on to this till the day they say no to home lunch.

The situations

As I have communicated to the children the importance of lunch and how not eating lunch would affect their growing bodies, they understand that I would not be happy if they leave their lunch untouched. And when my good intentions get the better of me, they would receive a lecture about not eating their lunch.

My oldest loves home lunch, or more likes its convenience. She started kindergarten, enjoying school lunch because she got to spend time with her friends in line. The novelty wore off after a few weeks since there were not many things on the school lunch menus that she liked, so having to stay in line for lunch was not worth her time.

She enjoys home lunch most of the time, but sometimes has a hard time eating lunch at school. Lunch time was too short some days, like because her teacher forgot about time and let them out late for lunch, or she just believed that lunch time was short for no reason (really kid!), and some excuses like food is too hot, too cold, too liquid, too soggy…

My middle child, however, is the pickiest of the three. He eats lunch only if it’s something he likes, and he would rather go hungry if it’s something he’s not a big fan of. The moment he sees the prepped food that he doesn’t like or thinks he won’t like, he lets out a big sigh to announce his disapproval. And of course, he would bring his untouched lunch home that day.

My middle child is aware that I would not be happy seeing his lunch untouched, so by now, when he sees me at pickup time, the first thing he usually talks about is his lunch. If he loves the food, he would say something like: “Mom, guess what, I ate all the food”, or if he is in a good mood, he would give me a big smile and air quotes: “I didn’t eat my lunch at all, you gotta check, Mom”.

And of course, on the days he doesn’t like his food, he would skip the greeting and go straight to: “Mom, lunch was so short, I didn’t have time to eat”, or “Mom, I liked lunch but my friends kept talking to me, seriously” (Yes, this child is a people pleaser – you could hear it from this comment).

Looking back, I can laugh at most of his comments on whether he eats lunch or not. But when I’m in it, my anxiety always takes over when he brings up excuses for not eating lunch.

My youngest, so far, is the best eater of them all. He tells me proudly that he finishes all of his food every school day. And to my surprise, he’s right; some days he comes home asking for even more food… Wow! This kid has raised the bar really high for his siblings. You don’t usually get this kind of good eater kid! He is not the standard.

Tips for helping kids eat lunch at school

• I create weekly menus so they don’t have the same meal more than once a week. And alternate the menus every so often, so the children don’t get tired of eating the same things over and over. My children will stop eating, even their favorite food, if I feed them the same food more than twice a week. These kids are seriously hard to please – or maybe I’m just spoiling them when it comes to food.

• I’ve learned to pack a proportionate amount of food – less is more. They will feel accomplished that they can manage eating lunch at school. My children love fruits, so fruits are a must. They don’t always eat their green, so vegetables are optional. I have to pick my battle here.

• Pack simple and make it easy for the children to access their food without wasting their time on opening containers. Remember, lunchtime is short, and we want them to have more time eating lunch. I remember using a thermo that my kids had a hard time opening, so they wasted so much time trying to open the thermo or looking for help opening it, no matter how much we practiced opening it at home — I was tried hard not to be wasteful but had to give up and end up buying new thermos. They have been working very well, and the children can open them easily. Take it from me, the containers matter.

• I’m not an artist, and I have no potential, but I’ve tried to make food look cute/fun to encourage the kids to eat lunch. I had to be practical since I had three young children to manage on my own in the morning, so I only made food that didn’t require me to wake up earlier than usual, take up too much time, or cause me stress. However, after a few tries, I couldn’t keep up. Definitely not my thing. The idea of having to make food look cute exhausts me. So I gave up on making cute-looking food. But if it’s your cup of tea, I’m sure the kids would be excited about their lunches.

• Leaving them lunchbox notes excites them. Make them short and at your kid’s reading level. However, remember that lunchbox notes don’t always mean eating lunch.

How do you handle it when your kids don’t eat lunch at school?

My children don’t always like the same kinds of food, so making someone’s favorite can mean making someone else’s least favorite. I’m not the mom who makes beautiful and cute-looking food (I’ve tried, but I’ve realized it’s not my thing) and different dishes for everyone’s liking. Just thinking about the time, energy, and meal plans for that to happen fries my brain; I can never be one. More importantly, I believe that my children should learn to eat when it’s mealtime, regardless of whether they like the food or not. This one skill has been hard to acquire. Am I asking for too much? 

How do you manage lunches for young children? What are your tricks?

I know the struggle mainly comes from me, who has this anxiety of not being able to let go of the thoughts that my children are missing an important meal of their day. Some days, I wish I could just let them eat school lunches and pretend not to know about their lunch intakes.

But I can’t let go. Not yet! It’s my mission to help them form healthy food choices.